How do you deal with a bad, ineffective, toxic boss?
(Brad Shorkend on Radio 2000 – Just Ice Show, 22nd Feb at 08.20 a.m.)
A snippet of the conversation…
The boss is a terror (in your opinion)… what do you do? Do you leave? Find another job? What if the boss is technically your client?… do you keep “firing” your clients and finding new clients every time they are not how you’d like them to be? Newsflash… you’ll have no more business! So… my answer here is to change the playing field, deliberately tilt the dynamic in your favour.
You cannot change your boss, but you certainly can change the way your boss relates to you… and even better, he/she will have no idea that you are doing so.
For this I have three power words… attitude, rapport and strategy!
The attitude that you take into the space is the key starting point. In life we will deal with many people that we don’t like… what attitude do we CHOOSE to bring to those engagements?
If your attitude is that nothing will change and there is no point in trying… well then that’s what you’ll get, no change! If your attitude is that you can have a positive energy towards the situation and create the best possible conditions and environment for the relationship and your happiness in that space… well, we get what we focus on and so what do you think you’ll get? Correct… exactly what you focus on!… and in this case positivity and possibility for change.
Building rapport is the cornerstone of all successful relationships be they professional, social, romantic… if there is no connection, then everything about that dynamic seems like hard work. So in your difficult boss situation… for example, if the boss is a big-picture thinker ask him to chat through his vision for your project and how you can be behaving powerfully into that vision. He’ll love hearing the sound of his own voice, and will almost certainly feel a stronger affinity towards you because you’re talking his language.
Also, by bringing some of the bosses thinking into your process you have him much more on board… the potential beginning of a perfect professional relationship. By then making a point of keeping the boss in the loop, you energetically reel him in even closer.
Finally strategy… everything that we do in our lives involves strategy. Driving a car involves strategy, making breakfast involves strategy, romance involves strategy etc. If there is no plan (whether we are aware that we are planning or not)… the car would stall, breakfast would be frozen bacon with melted ice cream and uncooked pasta, and romance would be somewhat unromantic. So know what you want to achieve, and plan how to do this most effectively.
